We Live in a Yellow Submarine
by Hardra61
Summary: Mulder and Scully skip a meeting, get real drunk, sing the beatles and make prank phone calls. That about sums it up. Prepare for terrible (yet fun!) charachterization!


  
We Live in a Yellow Submarine  
  
A stupid, out of character Mulder POV nothing-to-do-with-an-X-File X-  
File by Hardra6  
  
Rated: PG for muchos liquor consumption  
  
Notes: I know it's out of character, but it also happens to be silly thank   
you very much  
  
Summary: Mulder and Scully skip a meeting, get real drunk, sing the   
Beatles and make prank phone calls....That about sums it up  
  
More notes: what are you crazy? There are no more notes! Read, reader,   
read!!!! Okay there is one more notes, I love the Yellow Submarine song,   
but that's all. Chow!  
  
  
  
We Live in a Yellow Submarine  
  
Oh, wait, but first.....(hee hee hee!)......  
  
....in the town  
where I was born  
there lived a ma-aa-aaan,  
who sailed the seas,  
and he told  
us of the life  
in the la-aa-and,  
of submarines,  
so we sailed  
into the sun  
until we fou-ou-ound  
the sea of green  
and we lived  
beneath the waves  
in our yellow  
submarine...  
  
we all live in a yellow submarine  
yellow submarine  
yellow submarine  
  
We all live in a yellow submarine  
Yellow submarine  
Yellow submarine  
  
And our friends  
Are all on board  
Many more of them  
Live next door  
And the band  
Begins to play--  
Brum-pa-de-dum, de-dum, de-dum,  
Brum-pa-de-dum de dum de dum de da da da  
  
We all live in a yellow submarine  
Yellow submarine  
Yellow submarine  
  
We all live in a yellow submarine  
Yellow submarine  
Yellow submarine  
  
Every one of us  
Has all we need  
-All we need!  
Sky of blue  
-Sky of blue!  
And sea of green  
-Sea of green!  
In our yellow  
-In our yellow!  
Submarine!  
-Submarine!!  
  
We all live in a yellow submarine  
Yellow submarine  
Yellow submarine  
  
We all live in a yellow submarine  
Yellow submarine  
Yellow submarine  
  
--With muchos respectos,   
The Beatles  
  
  
(once again,) We Live in a Yellow Submarine  
  
  
  
Well, it started as a normal Friday. Started being our key word. We had   
some files to go over, chop up, re-arrange and hand in, followed by the   
weekly ankle-grabbing session that I think neither of us was looking   
forward to. Plagued by writer's block, I sat back and glared at the screen;   
stupid reports, I couldn't write anything without making it sound like   
crud.   
  
Scully looked at me from across the room. "Mulder, get hopping, we've   
got--" she checked her watch--"about an hour to get finished." So I   
started Word and began tapping my fingers against the keys.   
  
It went on like that for a while before I eventually logged onto the   
internet to see if there was anything better to do out there--I discovered   
that I was going to die on October 3, 2044 at the ripe old age of 82--but   
of course nothing new or interesting popped up about aliens or bog   
monsters. Eventually I caught a glare from my bored partner and I got   
back into Word.   
  
I was kind of getting into my nonsense report, so I didn't notice when she   
came over and looked at the screen from behind me. I didn't even notice   
as she crossed her arms and glared at my head.   
  
"Iggmiffshiff neropo ligistalp, ick no mick no meenie," I typed.   
  
"Mulder I think we should move on to something a little more productive   
than gibberish," she suggested. I blanched and streaked to cover my   
tracks.  
  
"Ohhh....uh, this isn't gibberish....It's Reticulan. I am sending them email   
asking for a more complicated, err, analysis of their genomes." I sent her   
a professional smile. She sent back a sarcastic professional smile, then   
groaned loudly and stomped around the room.   
  
"Mulder, we are in so deep here....." she looked at her watch again and   
put a hand to her forehead. "I don't believe you! What are we supposed to   
tell Skinner?!"  
  
I looked up at the many pencil holes still in the ceiling and an idea hit   
me. "Well, I could have forgotten that I had a dental appointment and   
you could go home sick," I suggested.   
  
"That's bull, Mulder, you know he won't fall for that."  
  
^*^*^*^  
  
"Where's Scully and Mulder?" Assistant Director Skinner said, clicking   
on his intercom to his secretary. The replay came quite casually.   
  
"Oh, Agent Scully went home sick about half an hour ago."  
  
"Then Where's Agent Mulder?"  
  
"Ummmmm......Oh, here's the fax--apparently he's had a--a family   
crisis."  
  
"What family?!" Skinner grumbled to himself, getting up and going into   
his outer office where his secretary was looking over a few faxes. He   
snatched them from her and she shrugged.   
  
"This is no coincidence," Skinner growled, pulling on his coat and   
storming out of his office. "Those two are going to be in a WHOLE lot   
of--"  
  
*^*^*^  
  
"Trouble."  
  
I looked at my worried partner and she looked back, sighing. "Mulder,   
why did you say you'd had a family emergency?! You don't have a   
family!"  
  
"Maybe my goldfish died."  
  
"They're already dead."  
  
"Have to go to their funeral?"  
  
"Right, a goodbye flush?"  
  
I sighed and leaned back in the driver's seat. "What do you want to do?"  
  
"What?!" Scully yelled. "Mulder, we've got mountains of paperwork to   
do, we can't just go out and have fun all day!!"  
  
"Come on, Scully, never seen 'Ferris Beuller's Day Off'?" I chided. "Hey,   
burgers. Let's get a burger and go see a baseball game." I eagerly pulled   
into a parking garage and in a few minutes we were sitting in a tiny little   
diner, my jacket had been abandoned in the heat of this grueling Summer   
in downtown DC. I busied myself rolling up my shirt sleeves while   
Scully pouted about having work to do.  
  
"What if they decide this is the last straw, Mulder? what if they close our   
section again, huh? What if our careers are predominately destroyed by   
your stupid idea to get away from the office on the--"  
  
"--Most beautiful day this Summer," I finished for her. A second later,   
"Scully! Today is perfect!! We are going to be the masters of the city.   
And I promise we won't do it, ever, ever again."  
  
"Ever-ever?"  
  
"Ever-ever-ever-ever."  
  
"Okay, then."  
  
I smiled when she ordered a beer.  
  
*^*^*^*  
  
A.D. Skinner left the FBI Building; they'd done it once, but they weren't   
going to do it again. In fact, they'd done it several times. Several times   
too many.   
  
He didn't bother to catch a cab; they wouldn't have gone far. The only   
thing he knew at that point was.....  
  
....They were in SO much trouble.....  
  
^*^*^*^  
  
"Right....TWO THREE FOUR---"   
  
"In the town,"  
  
"where I was born,"  
  
"there lived a maaa-aa-aann,"  
  
"who sailed the seas," (she giggled.)  
  
"and he told,"  
  
"us of the life,"  
  
"in the laaa-aaa-and,"  
  
"of submarine....."  
  
So, maybe one or two or three of us had too many beers too many, who   
cares? We sang beautifully as a duo--who would have guessed? Actually   
you know, I'm not even sure if we were all so good....all I knew was that   
I had never sung anything in my whole life willingly and, hey, there's a   
first time for everything.  
  
"WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE!!" Scully yelled into the   
microphone along with me. I drowned a little more liquor between   
singing and laughing, my arm around her shoulders. Where were we?   
Had to have been a karaoke bar, but who really cares? Not I.  
  
"A YELLOW SUBMARINE! YELLOW SUBMARINE!! WE ALL   
LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE! YELLOW SUBMARINE!   
YELLOW SUBMARINE!!"  
  
Okay so by the time we had finished annoying everybody in the bar, we   
finished our last (sniff) shots and I paid before clinging to her before we   
stumbled away. Anyway, before long we were looking down over a very   
long, high bridge and Scully started giggling like crazy, and so I helped   
her dump our overdue report into the water far below.   
  
"I bet the submarines will find it down there," I suggested.   
  
"The yellow ones. The yellow ones," she insisted. I nodded.   
  
"The Yellow Submarine gods are shining upon us today," She reached   
towards the sky. "There it is--" she pointed to the sun and we both   
cracked up, using each other to support ourselves on our way down   
towards the streets again.   
  
*^*^*^*^^  
  
A.D. Skinner checked everywhere before it occurred to him to check   
their cell phones. He dialed Mulder's number and was met instantly with   
laughter and the agent's voice saying, "Yankee Stadium, Second base!"  
  
"Agent Mulder, where the hell are you?!" Skinner yelled into the phone.   
  
There was a hushed murmur and more giggles from the other end before   
he distinctly heard Scully's voice on the phone. "Sir," she said seriously,   
"Sir, is your computer running right now?"  
  
Skinner opened his mouth to question but didn't get that far. "THEN   
YOU BETTER STOP IT BEFORE IT GETS AWAY!!!" there was   
hysterical laughter from both of his agents before he heard a very definite   
BEEP.   
  
Shoving his phone back into his jacket pocket, Skinner straightened his   
tie and started for the nearest bar. He felt sickly sure that he would find   
his agents there, if anywhere.  
  
*^*^*^*  
  
Wow we spent alllllll day in DC, puttin' on the Ritz I suppose. We drank,   
sang, drank, made prank phone calls, duped the police with our superior   
wit (and badges that happened to read FBI on them) and did I mention   
we drank?  
  
"I am......" Scully stumbled into me as we made our way down the   
sidewalk. "I am.......drunk," she mumbled, leaning her head on my   
shoulder.   
  
"I am......." I hiccuped and thought about that one for a minute. Finally I   
raised my voice and lifted my hands into the air. "I am.......THE   
WALRUS!!"  
  
"You don't look like a walrus," Scully said, surprised, looking at me from   
a distance and nearly falling over. I caught her arm and raised a finger,   
hiccuping again.   
  
"No, no, no, I am the walrus." I nodded and blinked hard; why was   
everything so blurry like this? "I am also.......I am.......drunk, too."  
  
"Me too," Scully chimed in. We leaned against each other and laughed a   
little.   
  
"Mulller I'm tired," she whined.   
  
" 'Cully, I'm.........drunk."   
  
"So am I."  
  
"Me too."  
  
"What you wanna do?"  
  
"I think we've done everything there is."  
  
"Tha's impossible,"  
  
"Nooo," I complained, looking down at her dizzily. "No, it's not. I   
mean.....we......uh, mmm......what was the question again?"  
  
"Don' remember."  
  
"Okay."  
  
Scully rubbed her eyes and we sat down on a bench somewhere. "Wha   
time is it?" she yawned.   
  
"I don't--" I stopped and looked at her, appalled. "How am I supposed to   
know?!"  
  
"You got a watch." She pointed to my arm.  
  
"Oh." I pointed to her arm. "You got a watch, too."  
  
"Oh." She started laughing hysterically again, but cut herself off a minute   
or two later. "So what time is it?"  
  
"I don't remember."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Look up," I suggested, pointing at the sun. "Hmm looks like it's between   
time for lunch and time for....wha' comes after lunch?"  
  
"Dinner I think. Or wait, Supper? Dang, I've forgotten."  
  
"I'm tired, Scully."  
  
"I said that already."  
  
" 'I'm tired Scully'?"  
  
"No....'I'm Tired Mulder'."  
  
"When'd you say that?!"  
  
"I don't remember."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Good night, Mulder," she said, and leaned her weight on my shoulder.   
"Good night, Scully," I said, and I blacked out.  
  
^*^*^*^*^  
  
Skinner found Scully's car in a nearby parking garage; and he waited   
there until nine--he figured, what the heck, I'll get on them tomorrow. He   
sighed and caught a cab to the Hoover Building, then drove home.  
  
^*^*^*^*^  
  
THE NEXT MORNING  
  
  
I woke up with a headache, and that wasn't all. I mean, if you count   
Scully being draped over me like a dead twig.  
  
"UUUUUUUhhhn," I moaned and rolled over.   
  
It was then that I realized that I was in Scully's apartment; and I wasn't   
wearing anything.   
  
*^*^*^  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!  
!!!!!"  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!  
!!!!!"  
  
*^*^*^  
  
I took the next day off from work. I told them that my friend's son had   
died in a car accident--it kind of qualified--and that I really wasn't feeling   
up to coming in.   
  
I rushed home; we didn't speak to each other all morning. Which was sort   
of ok. What wasn't okay was I didn't remember the previous evening, and   
I woke up next to my best friend.  
  
But the surprises didn't stop there.   
  
As soon as I got home I stumbled into the bathroom and took a handful   
of aspirin, then started the shower and took off my shirt. I caught sight of   
myself in the mirror and turned in a terrified circle, like a dog trying to   
chase its tail. Because there was something on my back.  
  
I fumbled around until I found a handheld mirror and I used both   
reflections to see what the hell was on my back.   
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!  
!!!"  
  
Perched innocently on my shoulder blade was a colorful image of........  
  
.......Well.......  
  
I banged my head against the mirror and reached back to touch it. It hurt   
a little physically, but that was nothing. Oh, hell, I'd gotten a tattoo! This   
wasn't supposed to happen to me....!!!  
  
I sighed into the mirror and then got into the shower.  
  
Of all things to have tattooed across my back......  
  
Why the hell a yellow submarine?  
  
  
  
  
  
~ The End ~ *giggle, giggle, snort* please send me feedback to   
hardra6@yahoo.com my first official try at silliness....I liked it, you like   
it?  



End file.
